Joke RSPs! As seen on MG forums. :D

[Trinea]

Originally posted by Baenhoof, but I thought it'd be fun to do here too! Post the absolute worst Sueish RSP you can think of for your character.

Ready?

Go!

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Name: Trinea Schatten
Gender / Sex: Female / Not with you!
Relationship Status: Married
Age: young

The woman standing before you is clearly jailbait. Her face is round and childlike, with a wide eyed innocent aura about her that makes every man fall head over heels for her even if she isn't the most remarkable looking female on the block. Her eyes are a startling blue, the color of deep ocean, with only the barest trace of fel light surrounding them ((No, she's not a high elf so don't bother asking, sheesh.)) Luscious, thick hair falls in heavy waves to well past her waist, the color coppery with threads of molten gold in the sunlight, which seems to always be around her like a halo of goodness. Slender bordering on skinny, unless she's wearing a dress it might be hard to tell Trinea from an average young man...except for the fact that she clearly has a most excellent, firm rounded butt.

If you manage to get past how amazing her butt is, you'll notice her burn scars, since the other best place to look at her is her incredibly innocent face (sorry boys, she doesn't have a spectacular rack, but then again, jailbait types shouldn't anyways; console yourselves with dat a**). Rather than being horribly grotesque, they're just noticeable enough to garner an insatiable curiosity from anyone who happens to look more than twice at her.

Her clothing is always impeccable and at the height of fashion, though in keeping with her wide-eyed innocent personality they're always modest. Unless she's wearing trousers, of course, and those are so tight they break laws in twenty seven different countries. Just looking at the kinds of clothing she wears, it's obvious that this woman-- or should I say girl?-- is loaded, that is, loaded with Daddy's money.

You can watch her for about thirty seconds before she notices you, and then it's a guarantee she would blush rather heavily. Instead of looking blotchy against her porcelain skin, even a bright red flush is strangely alluring. In fact, even though she's a plain hen amidst the flock of peacocks that are blood elf women, she's far more desirable than any one of them because she has an overwhelming freshness of youth and an irresistibly shy, commiserating nature.

She's not wearing a wedding ring, but if you ask her-- and I assure you, you will-- she will tell you in no uncertain terms that she's married. Indeed, she doesn't give a whit for you unless your heart's not beating ((NO DKs!)), and might very well make out with her husband anywhere in public just to prove it.

((Deader RP welcome!!! But sorry, no ERP!))




...okay. Now moar people!

[Gort]

Name: Rommak Spinerip
Gender: Male
Relationship Status: Single
Age: Six hours younger than dirt

As this emerald-skin behemoth moves into the room, a name will undoubtedly be circulated in whispers. They whisper, because to evoke this warrior's wrath is perhaps the worst mistake you could possibly make, akin to wrapping one's self in ship chains and leaping overboard out at sea.

With each step, his boot slams against the ground like thunder, and every time he lowers his gaze to someone's face, a look of primal, uninhibited terror sweeps across their features. So frightening is his visage, that mountains have crumbled because he squinted in the sunlight.

The Warlord is old, but beneath wrinkled skin can be seen thick tendrils of muscle, as if ten tauren were trapped beneath his green skin. Scars mar that skin, scars of wounds that would have killed lesser Orcs. It seems as though his heart has been pierced many times, but the Orc managed to kill his attacker and get to a healer in time to be saved.

As he goes about whatever buisness you are lucky enough to watch him conduct, you would slowly become aware of the fear and awe running rampant down to your very soul. Visions flash, of this Old Warrior reaching into your chest, to your heart, and pulling free your very essence as a being and showing to you with the words "Now here's your problem..."

Perhaps someone, a young and foolish Orc-pup perhaps, will stand and challenge this Elder of the Horde. Without hesitation, Rommak will draw back and bring his massive axe down on the youth, shattering through any attempt at blocking or armor the challenge may offer. As his blade slams into the body of the fool, Rommak would swing his jaw open and bellow a command. Instantly, tendrils of lightning will sprout from his fingers, travel up the axe's haft, and next thing you know, there will be a dead idiot on the floor, roasted to perfection.

(( ERP welcome, but your character will die. ))


amidoinitrite

[Ishbaneer]

Name: Isaac Ishbaneer Christoff Schatten

Age: 19 (when he died, so he's still 19)

Status: Married

Better change your armor. 'Cause whether you're the biggest, meanest orc around, or the most up-tight elven knight, you just shat yourself from laying eyes on this scary mutha fucka.

That's right. Ishbaneer, or Ish to his friends, is one scary dude. He has only half a face, huge, predatorial fangs like a wolf on the hunt, and of course, he has large talons.(lawl napoleon dynamite) He has gorgeous blonde hair and wiry muscles with some badass orcish tattoos, and the hair doesn't take away from how scary this guy is. All women orgasm when they see his tongue, too.

Tongue measurements: 1.3 feet long, 3.7 inches wide

Ishbaneer was born Isaac Schatten, and he was a badass even when he was a kid. He was totally in a gang, and they had a long reign of terror, living without any consequence what so ever, no matter how many people they beat up, tortured, or killed. Then the Scourge came, and Isaac was killed. When he woke up, he cursed the scurge for ruining his life. He was an innocent man, and they killed him! He swore revenge and keeps hating the scorge even today

Ishbaneer is a really nice, friendly, and cheerful guy. You can't help but have fun with him when he's at a party. He'll kill anyone at the drop of a hat if they piss him off, but he's a kind person who always helps out those in need. Especially if it means he gets to kill more people. He's a master of blades, swords, knives, axes, maces, bows, arrows, guns, crossbows, throwing knives, throwing spears, swords, greatsords, and shields too, so don't cross him. He's so fast he can't possibly be hit, and uses his speed to kill all his enemies, no matter how strong.

He has a elf wife too, and they totally have sex every night, even though he's dead. He can also have kids, its okay cause he's undead and not really dead

ERP welcome! My kinks are

((OK SCREW THIS, ENOUGH HERESY FOR ONE POST! D'=))

[Trinea]

...I love you both. <3

[Nadrine]

Name: Nadrine Celan Suntree, Mistress of the Eredar, Queen of Quel'thalas
Age: 18
Birthplace: Sen'jin Village

Appearance:
The elf standing before you is absolutely stunning and flawless. Her face is crystal clear with sun kissed skin. Nadrine's eyes are piercing and stare right into your soul but they're beautiful too. She has long, dark locks that fall just above her nice, round ass. The paladin wears a mask to hide the sadness, anger and the mysteriousness from others.

Her hourglass figure is perfect with no ounce of fat. She stands shorter than the average human male, so she's short for an Elf. She has a flat stomach and she tends to wear tight leathers and her plate armor exposes much of her skin. Nadrine's DDD breasts bounce whenever she walks. (P.S: I don't ERP randomly, so don't ask. I only ERP if the RP leads up to it. Futa is fine.)

Nadrine is an EVIL paladin. She shows no remorse to her enemies. She'd rather be alone and is cold to approach at first. Nadrine is mysterious and prone to get angry easily.

But, she's nice to her friends and would do anything to protect them, even if it means death.

Status: Married (Open relationship)
Sexual Orientation: Bi but prefers women. (Men can go D.I.A.F m'kay?)
Mood: Mysterious
Theme song: Peacock-Katy Perry


((On a total ooc note...this all sounds like a trip to the Caverns of Time gone wrong xD. Bizarro Kiss of the Betrayer. All your profiles made me laugh!))

[Ishbaneer]

((Very nicely done, Naddy. I think the scariest part of the thread is how often we see the things we do jokingly in here, done seriously in SMC and SW. EG, she's average but more noticeable than any other BElf woman, or he's old but will kick your ass with astronomical feats of gastronomical strength, and bi meaning "I like women with and without dicks". XD

That said, Bizarro KOTB must never, ever come to pass.))

[Trinea]

((This shit is hilarious. It's the reason why I posted it up in the first place. ...it also makes me kinda scared that there's people out there that think they're GOOD and they do this shit. >.< ))